Fried Friends, Really?
I have experienced this as a youth, actually committed it as a youth and see students throughout the community I live in do it often. I titled the blog Fried Friends which basically means, when students have friends for a long time, then get into a relationship with someone (boyfriend, girlfriend) and leave their friends in the dust.
Allow me to share my own story and then give some advice to avoid it in your own life and relationships.
The year was 1986, I had some awesome friends. We did everything together, movies, eating out, playing football or sports of the season, talking about life etc… then it happened. I met the girl… my relationship with her lasted two years… over the two years I slowly, without realizing it left all my friends for her. One point in about year 1 1/2 a close friend JT approached me and with care mentioned me not being around much. He understood relationships since he had a girlfriend too.. but he was more in touch with friendships and confronted me… Where you been man? I know your with so and so but we miss you.
I dismissed it as a busy schedule but in reality and hindsight I totally missed his comment until the relationship with the girl dissolved…..Yeah, I missed that one big time…
Here are a couple things you can do to prevent this occurring in your life:
1. Don’t spend all your time doing one thing… girl/boy friend time, only playing video games etc…
2. Make sure you have clear boundaries in your relationships.
3. Create and maintain a guys (girls) night out night… it can be healthy if you maintain pure motives and boundaries with in the night out.
4. Use your calendar… I know I know… what is monopolizing all your time… are you keeping things in balance? if not adjust now.
Remember most people don’t leave life long friendships immediately but over a long stretch of neglect. It is up to you to maintain your friendships and balance in your life. I hope you can add some cool, simple ideas to keep relationships in a healthy balance.
Good luck friend.